What Are You Afraid Of?

Being a creature of habit can be good or bad depending on the habit. Think of all the things you do out of habit: late snacking; relaxing showers; a run or cleaning while stressed; cooking healthful meals; talking to someone who makes you feel secure. We all have habits, right?

What about the habits that we turn to out of fear? Some of our security blankets are tame: biting nails; munching; going out with friends; retail therapy; avoidance; work. But what about those security blankets that are aggressive to one's health? Like binge eating; habitual ARGUING; feeling the need to aggressively defend your opinion; or even avoiding time and communication with a family member because you fear accepting change.

I can remember a very young me being raised in a super-conservative family and still living in fear in spite of having every privilege. Why? Because I focused too much on always needing what I didn't have. I was always triggered by a fear of loss. I pursued self-righteousness; amorous love; skepticism; shopping; gluttony; and as many defenses as I could- all because I was not secure in myself. These crutches can have long-term affects.

My husband and I have kids who are just now getting to see what a healthy relationship looks like. He and I dont always agree with each other... but we don't fear being wrong to the point of open confrontation. As a result my once aggressively troubled daughter has calmed and grown mentally and is even more affectionate. She feels more secure in the presence of her parents because they don't exhibit the constant fear of loss with the need for security blankets.

We also have some loved ones who have not given themselves a chance to open up to this new dynamic. We love them enough to let them GROW at their own speed, but it has taken patience in spite of the heartbreak. Change can be hard to accept, but it is part of growth. One cannot control everything around them; so why not liberate your mind from the shackles of the needless fears? Don't get me wrong.... one SHOULD fear some things. But fearing the change of welcoming others into one's life should not be one of them- ESPECIALLY if your response is verbal agression or even avoidance with the constant need to control the things around you.

You know what else is a healthy habit? Loving people in spite of their choices that you don't agree with, and supporting them in their pursuits where you can. We love you, guys.