TIME: Not always of our choosing

"Trust in Him and He shall direct thy path."

Trust is one of the most precious things in the world, and it is earned, not owed. That trust, once established, is precious. We trust the teachers of our children. We trust our stock broker. We trust our waitress. We trust the other driver to be safe. We trust the other parent to do the right thing.

And then there is the responsibility laid upon us to be trustworthy. Be it employers; employees; clients; friends; and pets- trust is given throughout the day that the right choice would be made for good.

Most of the job of a parent of a child or a furbaby is that of a caretaker. We feed them; clothe them; clean up after them; and worry about them. They could be the most capable speciment of living, breathing, carbon-based life form, and they would still make us worry. That is par for the course.

It can take some time upon relinquishing control over a loved one's care or our perceived duty before peace of mind can be obtained. Most of the time things are fine and life flows with little to no trauma.... but there are some things that are out of our control. We could lose a favorite pet to illness. We could give birth to a heart patient. We could experience miscarriage. Our mother could die in her sleep. Sometimes things just suck and we experience the sorrow of loss. That is life. All you can do is be patient and accept the fact that there is a reason. You can even appreciate the best parts that you hold in reminiscence.

The last couple of weeks my husband and I had been discussing either adopting a cat or hopefully bringing home his favorite cat (Ra, the polydactile pictured above) that he had raised with his ex. It was not the right time to ask, though, so we waited. Sadly, last night Brock received the news that his furry friend, the beloved cat who used to wake him up from his sound naps with pawing and eskimo kisses, was dying/dead from health complications. It was a sad time for both of us. I had been excited to possibly see my husband reunited with a cherished friend. He now knows those happy days of irritation were over. But, do you know what Brock wisely said when I expressed frustration over our never getting to see Ra waking him up again? He said, "It is better that we hadn't gotten to bring him home. He would have still had the health condition, only he would have died after the girls had gotten attached, and it would have broken their hearts." It blew my mind. In the midst of sadness and heart ache my husband still had more healthy perspective than most people. He could see past the want and see the wisdom. Had he been rude and demanding about what he wanted instead of being the thoughtful and trustworthy man that he is, the impressionable hearts of our little girls would have been broken and there would have been very few happy memories to offer comfort.

God's timing can be very strange, you know? Some of the things that we do out of duty or common courtesy can turn out to be the thing that brings the most comfort or avoids the most pain. What will you do this week, or this year, or this lifetime that could seem annoying or inconvenient but is actually that tiny moment- that tiny choice leading to the best thing? If I had chosen to selfishly decline my parent's offer to celebrate July 4, 2019 (mom and I didn't usually get along very well) because I wanted to avoid the travel and the drama, I would have missed out on the happiest memory I have ever had with my mother. I wouldn't have heard her hooting at how dangerous I like to be with fireworks. My girls wouldn't have seen their grandmother laughing at their antics. I wouldn't have seen the hand of God rupture the tire on my ex's truck so my father had to come and pick the girls and I up- this giving us a few more precious hours together. If I had selfishly said "No." to my mother's desire to have another July 4th fireworks display put on by my dad and I (complete with junk food and popcorn balls), I would have been resigned to the fact that the last conversation I would have had with my mother had been an angry and selfish one that might have broken her heart. You see, my mother died July 19, 2019- just 2 short weeks after I got to give her one last hug and hear her say how proud she was of what I had built. Never before had my mother ever said she was proud of me.

Can you imagine what kind of pain can be avoided if we all made our choices based on the intention to show love and reinforce someone's security? We will all experience loss at some point. It doesn't have to be accompanied with pain and regret. Trust that being intentional and showing love will BE the road to happiness... because it will definitely be guiltless.