Facilitating healing

I was going to touch on the excitement surrounding the 4th of July, but the mood of the holiday has a dual meaning for those in my family.

Picture a humid day with your almost estranged parents, surrounded by kids and the overwhelming urge to relive the happy thing about your childhood summer times- 4th of July fireworks. July 4, 2019 I took my family to my parents for the 4th of July since Burlington, KS has legal fireworks and I'm a pyromaniac. Even though there were copious amounts of tension between my parents and my husband and I at the time, 4th of July was the one time of year where I knew I could make my parents proud and impressed. The kids weren't scared (the opposite since my middle daughter wanted to chase fire); hubby let me spend money; and mom had listened when I said "keep it simple." I was a wonderful time! Mom was smiling and laughing and my husband wasn't drunk or peevish.

I look back on that day with new eyes because it was the last time I saw my mother, alive or dead. I even see my husband taking a curb too tight and rupturing a tire as a sign and a blessing from God because Jerry had to pull over and daddy had to pick up the girls and I and take us back to the house for a few hours of sleep while the tire was being replaced. One forgets little details like that. Now, when I remember that July 9th was the last day my mother was alive in this world, I see what God was doing.

It doesn't matter how you left things the last time you were with family. All that matters is that you let yourself heal from the past. Take your time. Ride your own ride. Don't let past hurts and pain change the person that you will become for your family- but remember that every happy moment is a gift. And if you have children, think of what it would rob from them if you don't give them little opportunities to have happy moments (obviously that doesn't mean give them everything they ask for). If you are estranged from a parent out of a desire to guard your heart and mind, so be it. Just remember that texting was created for chickens and there is no shame in using it to at least let yourself and your kids have a moment of normalcy and love. There is no harm in that, but can you say the same for depriving yourself and your family of time?