A 4th Rumination

Fact: Texas Roadhouse prime ribs are best eaten rare

Fact: Even with the best food from a restaurant, sometimes you just miss the cheap stuff that you would have at family cookouts

5 years ago to the day my strained marriage was being put into perspective when we went to my parent's house for the 4th of July. My parents were married for 43 years! In spite of the past estrangement from my parents; and in spite of incompatability that rarely made either my ex or I gratuitous (I usually didn't get time off for holidays if extra money could be made), there was one thing that would always draw me back to rinky dink Coffey County, Kansas for the 4th of July. GUNPOWDER.

As startling as that might sound I promise you.... I got hurt more by setting off black cats in my hand than I ever did by wiring explosives with e-match. Having been a certified pyrotechnic since I was 16 I LOVED blowing shit up. Any excuse! I'd even pretend to accidentally set a towel on fire in the kitchen.

Ok maybe that wasn't an accident- but I wasn't scared in the least.

So, when my parents invited the kids and I out to do a show, I couldn't wait. We did the usual burgers and dogs. Mom and my sister Lindsey (who had come home from Wisconsin for the summer) had made popcorn balls. Come dark I got my esthetaline torch and had one of the best nights of my life at the time. I know I've shared in previous posts that that was the night that I saw my mother alive for the last time. God saw fit to give Jerry a flat tire, which should have been a sign to me to just slow the hell down and treasure the moments.

After my father died in 2022, Lindsey gave me my mother last prayer journals. Would you believe that for the better part of my adult life my mother was tortured with the idea that I would never be safe or at peace? I suppose that last day I left her she was probably still praying that I would find peace. I only wish that she could have known Brock, my husband. The same with daddy. I know that, in spite of his misogynistic mentality he would have still liked Brock and probably would have appreciated the industrious, intelligent, honest, and hard-working man that Brock is.

Anyway... now we are in Johnson County where even fire pits are regulated, so good luck on ever lighting a cremora again. If anybody has some land out in the country where we could get by with 20 ft fireballs let me know. And remember- non-dairy works best. Be safe, peeps. And remember what you are celebrating. 300 years ago half of our ancestors were still in chains and dying of cholera, dysentery, and God knows what else. Keep safe , eat well, live as though you were dying. Happy Independence Day.